


Gear and Sword

by Imminent_Em



Series: Dogged Chase/Faded Trail [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, F/M, Longing, Romance, Self-Loathing, Slow Burn, Travel, on the road again!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2019-10-25 06:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17720282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imminent_Em/pseuds/Imminent_Em
Summary: After so long in the cold, the touch of steel to skin barely bites at all. But even as all feeling bleeds away, the danger persists; the once-straight path diverges, the ice fracturing before her.





	1. Chapter 1

The road to Diamond City proved to be a treacherous one, even with the snows melting around them. If anything, that hindered their already glacial progress. Trudging through nearly knee-deep snow was bad enough, but the icy slush it was turning into was far worse. Every step became a dangerous one, and even when she took all the care in the world, Nora still slipped. Constantly. 

Following behind Nick helped, but not nearly enough. He was struggling, same as her, although his boots seemed better suited to this. Even still, the slush was either loose and sliding beneath them, or packed and iced over. In some places, the snow had almost completely melted, pooling in the deep cracks and potholes of the road as they became exposed. 

Nick was quiet as they moved forward, and Nora followed suit, keeping a wary eye on their surroundings. It was eerily quiet during the day. It kept her on edge, which was perhaps a good thing. In a way, everything about the wasteland felt new and disproportionately threatening, like she was stepping into it for the first time again. Deep inside, there was a gnawing worry that she had lost her tenuous grasp on the skills she’d worked hard to earn in the months before winter set in. 

When she’d mentioned it to Nick, he had waved off her fears, saying it was like writing a letter: once you learned how, you didn’t forget. Of course, Nora wondered if Nick had ever spent longer than a few months without a gun in hand since he set foot in the Commonwealth. There was a casual, easy grace to the way he handled himself, similar to Preston. Similar to Nate. It was the stance of someone who fought for every step they took, tooth and nail. Try as she might, it was hard to compete with that kind of innate skill, or even try catching up to it. 

It was difficult to set her worries aside as they traveled. There was a little else to occupy Nora as they made their slow way south. The road was largely untraveled, most likely because of the weather. Few would want to make a journey in this unless it was absolutely necessary. That served Nora just fine. Their going was slow enough without being hindered by Raiders or God knows what else.

But the empty road meant she had far too much time on her hands. Time to worry about her failings. Time to worry about Shaun, her baby boy in the hands of murderous strangers. Time to worry about Nick.

The last several months had been….different. Nick had seemed to withdraw over the winter, becoming quieter, taciturn. They had spent a good portion of time in the darkness of blizzards laughing and joking, tearing into her old books together. And yet, there was some kind of shroud that lingered over everything he did and said. He had been quiet before, sure. She had gotten the impression when they first met that Nick wasn't one to give much away. But this was altogether different, a tension that lingered on even as they settled back into the comfortable travel routine they'd established before the winter. Something was bothering him.

If he didn't speak his mind, however, then there was nothing to be done about it. So she didn't push or pry, however much she was tempted to. When they passed by Drumlin, Nora did her best to not remember Nick, his tone bitter, voice caustic as he snarled that she didn't know him. As they continued on the road, she tried very hard to forget the small, sad sound of him waking in the middle of the night with a sharp desperate gasp. She tried to set aside the vivid images of her own bad dreams, as much as they pushed themselves to the forefront. Instead, Nora focused on the road ahead of her, on following Nick through the miserable blockade of snow and slush. It was all she could do, for now.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Nora woke to Nick shaking her shoulder firmly. He held his finger to his lips as she blinked her eyes open, and said quietly, “Someone’s coming up the road.”

“Danger?”

He shook his head. “Probably not. But best not to cause a commotion just in case, yeah?”

She nodded, and crawled out of her bedroll. They had done their best to clear all the snow away from their small campsite, but the dirt had frozen over during the night anyway. Her back complained loudly, stiff and cramped. She got slowly to her feet, grabbing her rifle and checking it as she did. 

The sun was coming through the sparse canopy in a golden, mid-morning glow. Nick beckoned to her to join him by one of the firs that hid them from the road. She moved stiffly over to crouch beside him. He pointed down south, the direction they were headed. “Take a gander with that fancy scope of yours. All I can tell is that they’ve got a brahmin with them.”

Nora pulled her rifle up into position obligingly. She fiddled with the scope for a moment, and sure enough, two figures resolved into view, a brahmin and a person. The brahmin was clearly a pack animal, its back loaded with chests and over-stuffed bags. The person….Nora gave it a moment, letting the figure get closer while she adjusted the scope accordingly. She kept her gaze on the person’s face, until they looked up and - 

Nora pulled away from her scope. “No shit,” she breathed.

Nick raised a brow. “What? Someone we know?”

She glanced at him. “That’s Carla down there.”

Nick rolled back onto his heels. “Shit is right. Took her long enough.”

Nora huffed out a breath. “Yeah. I was starting to think we’d hear that she’d turned up dead in a ditch somewhere.”

Nick watched as the small figure of Carla drew ever closer. “I dunno. You’re not wrong, but she has been doing this a hell of a long time. Guess I’m not all that surprised that she’s turned up no worse for wear.”

Nora rested her rifle across her knees. “You as curious as I am?”

Nick snorted. “‘Course I am. You want to go down and meet her?”

“Why not?”

He smiled at her crookedly. “Can’t think of a reason. Let me grab my piece and we’ll run down.”

“Should we pack up?” 

Nick waved his hand, reaching into his bedroll. “No point. We won’t be that long talking to her.”

Nora nodded, glancing back down at the road. After a moment, Nick came back, and they started making their way down towards the road below them. It was steep, which made for slow going. Nora relied heavily on the fir trees to keep from slipping, moving carefully. As they were almost at the bottom, they came into view of the road again. Carla had passed by them, apparently taking no notice of their descent. 

Nora cupped her hands and called out, “Carla?”

The woman turned around in surprise, tugging her overloaded brahmin to a halt. Nora carefully trudged down the embankment, doing her best not to slip in the loose slush in her hurry. Carla took a few steps in her direction, eyes flicking from Nora, to Nick behind her. “As I live and breathe,” she drawled. “Out on the road again, Walker?”

Nora came to a halt a few feet from Carla, running her thumb under the rifle strap at her shoulder. The older woman looked the same as ever; mousy brown hair threaded with grey, clothes more patch than whole, and a suspicious squint to her beady eyes. She was thinner than Nora remembered, but her brahmin was loaded with significantly more than the last time she’d passed through Sanctuary. “Yeah. Valentine and I decided to hit the road a bit early. And you?”

Carla rolled her shoulders, shifting the weight of her backpack. “Doing all right. The road down south has been pretty harsh the last month or two. You heading that way?”

Nora nodded. “We are. Down past Boston proper, closer to the Glowing Sea.”

Carla’s eyebrow climbed her forehead. “I’d be careful, if I were you. Avoid going downtown if you can; a nest of super mutants set up nearby Goodneighbor. Been a real pain in the Mayor’s ass, from what I hear.”

Nick chuckled from Nora’s side, finally coming up next to her. “I’m sure he’ll get around to sorting the roads out once he comes down from his latest high.”

Carla cackled in response. “Sure, sure. Let’s just hope that’s sooner rather than later. It’s making it hard to do business in the area. Traders that normally stick to the city are avoiding their routes, crossing over into mine. I’ll be glad when things are back to normal.”

“Couldn’t agree with you more,” Nora said. She glanced at Nick, and saw the same questions in his eyes. “Speaking of which,” she added, turning back to Carla, “You’re headed up to Sanctuary, right?”

“Sure am,” Carla confirmed. “Your place first, then the Abernathy’s, as usual. Why do you ask?”

Nora tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, a nervous gesture she immediately regretted. “It’s just…you remember a couple months ago, when you were last up here? Lucy Abernathy caught up with you on the road, bought some dried bloodleaf off you?” 

Carla glanced between them, brow furrowing. “Sure I do.” Her gaze narrowed even further, and her voice sharpened. “Why? Is she alright?”

“Lucy’s just fine,” Nick reassured her. At that, Carla relaxed a tiny bit, although her posture was still tense. “The Abernathy’s lost their all their cattle though. Some freak illness swept through, took them out all at once.”

Carla flinched, though she tried to cover it. Nora added, “We looked for you, on the road south towards Drumlin, trying to see if we could get any more bloodleaf off you. We couldn’t find any trace of you beyond Concord.”

Carla crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t keep to my route, that’s true. Got caught up in a nasty storm the night after Lucy caught up with me, and then ran into a scavver in the Concord suburbs who said there was some crazy yao guai lurking in the area. Decided not to take my chances, and stayed north for a couple weeks, went up by Tenpines Bluff instead.”

Nora pulled at her rifle strap again, taken aback. “Oh. Makes sense, I guess.”

Nick grunted. “Good choice, too. We ran into that yao guai, ourselves. Nasty fight. Be glad you didn’t come across it first.”

“Glad to have the validation, certainly,” Carla snorted. “I am sorry to hear about the Abernathy’s brahmin,” she said in a softer voice. “That’s a shit hand they’ve been dealt.”

“True enough,” Nick agreed. After a moment’s hesitation, he pressed, “In the weeks before you came by their place, you didn’t happen to notice if your brahmin was sick at all?”

“Otto here?” Carla shook her head. “No, not at all. Last time he came down with something was a good five years ago. Why?”

Nick sighed, sliding his hands into his duster pockets. “Just covering all our bases, that’s all. Guess that would’ve been too easy of an answer.”

“You’ve got a minor mystery on your hands then?” Carla asked.

Nick wrung out a wry smile for her. “Seems that way.”

“Let’s hope you get it wrapped up soon then, yeah?” Carla grimaced. “Last thing we need is for a brahmin-killer to sweep through the settlements.”

“You’ve got that right,” Nick muttered. He shook his head, visibly wrenching himself from his thoughts. “Thanks for the update, in any case. We’re keeping you from the road, aren’t we?”

Carla waved her hand. “Yeah, but I don’t mind it too much. It’s slow going either way.”

Nora held out her hand, and Carla shook it firmly. As Nick did the same, she said, “Well, the road up to Sanctuary isn’t so bad right now; just the usual slush and some minor flooding past Concord.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Carla said as she tugged her brahmin’s lead. As she headed past them, she called back, “Remember, stay away from the city center! Anything past Cambridge is a shit show!”

“Will do!” Nora responded. She gave a half-hearted wave, and watched Carla go. 

They stood in silence for a few minutes as Carla went up the road, before Nick sighed shaking his head. “That woman,” he said quietly, “is lying about something.”

Nora glanced at Nick, surprised. “You think so?”

He nodded grimly, rubbing at his jaw absently. “Sure do. Damned if I know what about, or  _ why _ , but something about her was off.” He glanced at her, golden eyes narrowing. “You didn’t think so?”

Nora shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. Didn’t think there was anything for her  _ to _ lie about.”

“You’re probably right,” Nick grunted. “All the same. It’s something to keep in mind.” He turned and started climbing back up the embankment. “Let’s get some food in you and get going, yeah?”

Nora followed after him, lost in thought, and started breaking down the small camp they’d made. They bundled up their bedrolls, and while Nick stomped out and scattered the remains of last night’s fire, Nora dug into her pack for a small bag of jerky. It was cold and hard and gamey, but it helped eliminate some of hunger that clawed at her stomach. Nick had warned Nora that supplies would be few and far between, and animals scarce on the road. She had brought what she could carry, but it needed to last. 

Their camp broken down, Nick and Nora made their careful way back down the embankment and set off. The road stretched on before them, breaking out of the woodier areas and gradually transforming into rolling hills.  Those hills were some of the only real break from the monotony of the brilliant white landscape, ice shining in the sun even as it slowly gave way the the browns of rocks and dirt. Even the ruins of buildings did little to change anything as the days passed and they got closer to Cambridge proper. 

They were maybe a day’s travel away from crossing the Charles River into the city when Nora’s Pip-Boy made a soft beeping noise, so quiet she almost missed it. She brought the face of it up, doing her best to shield it from the morning sun’s glare as she fiddled with one of the dials, cycling through the menus. “Huh.”

Nick trudged over, closing the few feet between them. “What is it?” he asked, his voice low.

Nora shrugged. “It’s saying I’m in range of a new radio frequency.” She checked the volume before switching her radio on to the new frequency. There was a soft hiss and crackle of static, and nothing else.

“Nobody’s home?” Nick suggested.

“Maybe. But look at this.” Nora tapped her screen, and Nick crowded in closer to peer down at it. “It’s saying that this is a military frequency.”

Nick grunted. “Odd. We’re not near any old military bases or bunkers, at least that I know of.”

“That’s what I thought,” Nora muttered. She looked up, glancing at the surrounding landscape as if it would suddenly reveal something it hadn’t in the past two weeks of travel. “Maybe we’re just out of range.”

“You want to try tracking it down?”

Nora chewed on her lip a second. “Why don’t we keep going down the road; if we get into range and hear something interesting, great. If not, then we keep going.”

Nick was eyeing her steadily. “That radio signal we heard from D.C. has been eating at you, hasn’t it?”

“What? Don’t tell me you’re not curious too?”

He glanced away, toward the looming city skyline, hands in his duster pockets. “I sure am. More than you know. But it might be nothing.”

“And it could be something.”

He looked back at her, smiling his crooked smile. “Alright then. It’s on the way, in any case.”

They set off, picking their way carefully as Nora kept an eye on her Pip-Boy. Every few minutes, it would give another quiet beep, and something in the tone of the static would change. After about twenty minutes, Nora held up a hand, stopping. She and Nick were silent, intent on the soft static. “You hear it?” she asked.

He nodded. “A voice, definitely. Must be a bad signal. We could give it another half-mile?”

Nora grinned at him. “Now who’s the curious one?”

He grumbled something to himself, but she could see the curve of a small smile as they pressed on. Nora continued switching her radio on and off, checking in every few minutes. Eventually, the voice began to solidify, emerging from the static as they got closer and closer to the city. Nick pointed out a small stand of trees on the far side of the road, and Nora followed him. They hunkered down, just out of sight of the main road, and Nick gestured to her Pip-Boy. “Try it now. If we go much farther, we might miss the source.”

Nora switched it back on, and even with the soft susurration, the female voice was able to come through - garbled, but understandable.    
  


_ “ - Scribe Haylen of Reconnaissance Squad Gladius to any unit in transmission range. Authorisation Arx. Ferrum. Nine. Five. Our unit has sustained casualties and we’re running low on supplies. We’re requesting support or evac from our position at Cambridge Police Station. Automated message repeating….This is Scribe Hay- ” _

Nora switched it off. She tried to suppress a shiver as she tamped down a mild disappointment.  “So. Not from the Capitol Wasteland.”

Nick shook his head, a bright gleam on this golden eyes. “I think this is even better, Nora.”

She looked at him in askance. “What do you mean?”

“If that signal is from who I think it is, then it’s worth your weight in caps.” He nudged the brim of his fedora higher up, the movement excited. “Only people I know of who throw around terms like ‘Scribe’ and ‘authorisation’ are with the Brotherhood of Steel.”

A leaden weight settled in Nora’s gut, and she fought off another shiver. “You still want to check it out, I take it?”

He nodded. “Sounds like they’re in need of a helping hand.”

“This message could be weeks old, though.”

“And if it is, then maybe we can find something useful anyway.” He frowned. “If I remember, the police station is about a half-hour down the road, give or take a bit.”

“And you think it’s worth it?”

His expression was serious. “I do.”

Nora hitched her pack higher on her back, rolling her neck. “Alright then. No time like the present.”

 

* * *

  
  


“There,” Nick said, breaking the silence. “The brick one, that’s the Cambridge Police Station. It doesn’t look-”

Gunfire cracked in the distance, cutting him off, and as one, Nick and Nora ground to a quick halt. They stilled, hands on their guns, scanning the horizon. A moment of quiet passed, and then the chatter of gunfire resumed, this time without ceasing. Nick smacked her shoulder lightly with the back of his hand and gestured towards an alleyway up past the building. “That way. Quickly, but be careful. We don’t know what we’re walking into.”

Nora shrugged her rifle from her shoulder, giving it a cursory once-over before following Nick. Trying to be silent while trudging through the slush was futile, but they endeavored all the same. They reached a narrow set of barely-visible stairs, buried under some very wet looking snow, and carefully made their way up, slipping and steadying each other as they went. As best they could, they crept into the alley, hugging the wall. The buildings had managed to block the sun’s reach for the most part, and much of the snow there was untouched, almost knee-deep. The gunfire, which had only increased in rate as they approached, was still going, much less muffled now that they were closer. 

Nick motioned to her, and they both crouched in the meager shadows, keeping an eye on the corner. “Sounds like laser fire,” he said, barely audible. 

“Our radio signal, then?” Nora whispered back. “It is the Brotherhood?”

Nick frowned. “Must be.” He caught her eye. “If it is, I can’t be seen with you.”

“What? Why not?”

He gestured sharply. “They’re here to fight the Institute, Nora. They’ll shoot me on sight.”

Nora glared at him. Quietly, she said, “We could leave.”

Nick’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

She looked down. “We don’t have to help them.”

Nick shook his head. “Yes, we do.” 

Nora looked up at him, exasperated and pleading and speechless. He held up his hands placatingly. “This could be your way in, Nora. If the Brotherhood has resources to fight the Institute, or if they have information that we don’t, then we need to find out.”

Nora bit her lip. It was hard to argue with Nick anyway; moreso when he had valid points. Which was often. “ _ Fine _ . I’ll go in. Hang back and wait for me?”

Nick shook his head and held out his hand. “Not a chance I’m sending you in alone. Give me your rifle.”

“ _ What _ ?” she hissed.

“I’ll take the high ground, get in one of those buildings and cover you from above. You go in guns blazing with my shotgun, take care of whatever’s going on over there, make some friends, and get out. We’ll meet up a half-mile up the road from here, and no-one’s the wiser.” When Nora hesitated, Nick extended his hand closer, urging her. “C’mon, Nora. You know you can’t use that thing in close quarters anyway. We’re running out of time here.”

Nora glanced down to the end of the alley again. Over the crack of lasers, she was starting to hear snarls. Ghouls, probably. Nick had warned her months ago that there were nests of them all over the city. If whoever was in the station couldn’t fight them off, they were likely in for a nasty end. She felt a sickening in her gut. Nobody deserved that. 

She pushed her rifle into Nick’s waiting hands, mind made up.  “Alright, alright, we’ll do it your way. I’ll give you a head start, then I’m going in.”

Nick hauled his shotgun out from under his duster, unclipping it from a strap and handing it to her, along with a broad belt of ammo. She quickly looped the belt over her head, settling it crossbody, gripping the shotgun tightly in her off hand. The weight of it was unsettling in it’s unfamiliarity, cold steel radiating through her gloves to chill her hands. She gave it a quick check, then nodded to Nick. He reached out, quickly squeezed her shoulder, then left, darting off into another alley. 

One deep breath. Then another. And another.

Nora shook her head, already regretting her choice. Time to go meet the Brotherhood.

  
  


* * *

  
  


_ She knocks on the door, shivering in the cold. Once, twice. There is a clatter behind it, the sound of something falling, and then muffled footsteps. _

_ She is thinking of knocking again - or better yet, turning around and leaving altogether - when the door opens. _

_ “General?” _

_ His tone is suprised. Of course, she’s surprised she even worked up the nerve to cross the street and stand at his door, so who is she to judge? _

_ “Preston.” _

_ She adds a smile, although it feels strange. _

_ “May I come in?” _

_ “Yeah, of course.” _

_ HIs beckoning arm leads her in, and he snaps the door shut once she’s over the threshold. The air is still chilly, but it’s a definite improvement. There is a familiar looking wood stove, ramshackle in design, pressed against one wall. An armchair crowds up to it, accompanied by a low coffee table. Strewn across the table is a mostly disassembled laser musket. Off to the side, a couple of wrenches have been knocked to the floor. _

_ “Am I interrupting?” _

_ “No, not at all.” _

_ He waves to the table.  _

_ “Just busywork.” _

_ “Oh. Good.” _

_ She pauses, unsure. _

_ It’s a hard conversation. Or rather, an uncomfortable one. She doesn’t want to have it. Neither does he, she’s sure. But it should still happen. _

_ She gestures to the open couch in the corner. It sags and settles sadly in the center, the product of too many seasons at the mercy of the weather. _

_ “Can we sit for a minute? I wanted to talk to you about something.” _

_ “Sure.” _

_ She sees him frowning as she sits down, but it isn’t with worry. He just looks….unsure. _

_ She dithers about it, as she can be wont to do. He sits through it, while she twists at her fingers and tries to untie the knots in her tongue. _

_ “I know….I know I made an oath, of sorts, when I said I’d do this. Be the General, I mean.” _

_ The words are slow, sticky like molasses in her mouth. She continues anyway. _

_ “Oaths….promises are important. It’s easy to make one. Harder to keep it. They tie people together, in good ways and bad, and I….I don’t want to break mine to you.” _

_ He is staring at her, intent. _

_ “But you’re going to?” _

_ “No.” _

_ It is resolute when she says that. Moreso than how she feels. _

_ “I’m not sure what this is about, then.” _

_ She sighs. _

_ “Neither am I.” _

  
  


* * *

  
  


The man in the power armor looked around, scanning the tall buildings surrounding the police station courtyard suspiciously. Or at least, that’s what it looked like; it was hard to tell through the mountain of steel plating. But when he spoke, he sounded wary. “Is there someone else with you, civilian? I thought I heard extra gunfire.”

Nora shifted the shotgun to a more comfortable position, summoning her best innocent lawyer face as a chill ran through her. Damn Nick for helping out when he should’ve stayed back. Damn him for sending her in the first place. She shook her head, rolling her shoulders casually. “Nope. Just me.”

The man’s gaze returned to her, the eye slits of his helmet faintly illuminated even in the sunlight. “Do you always travel alone?”

Nora lifted an eyebrow. “Not usually, no.” She shrugged. “But I’ve got some business to take care of, down south. The personal kind.” At least that wasn’t a lie. 

“ _ Hmphf _ ,” the man grunted. He still sounded a bit skeptical when he spoke again, but there was a deep weariness seeping into his voice. “Well, your help is appreciated, civilian. But what kind of business brings you out here?”

Nora eyed him. She heard the unspoken question - whatever else this man was, he certainly wasn’t subtle. Why would she go out of her way to help strangers? This man was unendingly suspicious; probably for good reason. If this small group really was with the Brotherhood, as Nick suspected, then they had come a long way. And if that was the case, then Nora doubted that their arrival into the Commonwealth had been any more welcoming than hers.

But she had a role to play now, whatever the truth was. So Nora shifted her stance, tilted her chin up the tiniest bit. She let her body tell them she was on the defensive as she kept her tone polite and conversational. “As I said, my business is personal.”

She let that linger in the air a moment while the man seemed to fumble. Or maybe he was just the thoughtful, quiet type. It was incredibly hard to read him in that power armor. 

When he did speak, however, it was apparent he had decided to do away with his attempt at coyness. “Then why did you stop to help us?”

Nora smiled at him innocently. “You called for help, didn’t you? I answered.”

He was beginning to sound impatient. “But  _ why _ ? Why go out of your way to help complete strangers, risking your life?”

“If I’d known I’d be getting an interrogation, I wouldn’t have,” Nora muttered. She gestured with her free hand, exasperated. “Why does anyone do anything?”

“In my experience? For caps,” the man said darkly.

Nora snorted. “Well, if you even have any, you can keep them. I’m fine without.” She imagined he looked taken aback under that helmet, so she continued. “Look, you needed help, and I gave it.” She shrugged. “”What else can I say? I like to make friends where I can. Keeps me from looking over my shoulder all the time.”

The man regarded her for a moment, saying nothing. Finally, he sighed, his body visibly relaxing even through the plates of power armor. “Guess I am looking a gift brahmin in the mouth, aren’t I?” he muttered. “If you are what you say you are, then I’m grateful.” He paused, as if considering his next words. “What do you know about the Brotherhood of Steel?”

Nora struggled to keep the the ominous feeling that washed over her from showing on her face. “Not much,” she admitted, shrugging casually. “I know they showed up in that flashy ship of theirs about a month before the snows hit. I know they’re from way down south, somewhere around the Capitol Wasteland, and that they have it out for the Institute. Haven’t heard much about them since they showed up, though. I figured they had hunkered down for the winter, along with the rest of us.”

The man persisted, something earnest in his voice. Nora took note of how the other two were watching as he spoke, their eyes wary and the woman’s stance guarded. “Do you believe they were honest about their intentions? About wanting peace?”

Nora chuckled, startling them. “Honestly, I just don’t know.” She started adjusting the strap on the shotgun. “Forgive me if I’m automatically suspicious of anyone who shows up waving around that kind of firepower, no matter what they say their intentions are.” She slung the shotgun over her shoulder, crossing her arms over her chest. “That said, they have yet to make any aggressive moves toward the big players in the Commonwealth. So maybe they meant what they said.”

“That’s good enough for me,” the man said, his voice firm. The pair on the steps still looked doubtful, but they kept quiet. The man finally lowered his laser rifle all the way, thumbing a button on the side as he did. Cowl covers automatically slid into place with a soft click; and just like that, the tension dissipated. “If you’re willing, we could use an extra hand.” He drew himself up even further, which hadn’t seemed possible, and something changed in his tone; was it pride, perhaps? “My name is Paladin Danse, with the Brotherhood of Steel. This is my team - what’s left of it, at least,” he added grimly.

A sort of heavy tightness settled across Nora chest. This was it. Her last chance to walk away and be done with this man and his merry cult of armed fanatics, handed to her on a silver platter. She had to fight down a wave of frustration. As if she could leave now, with Nick somewhere out there, watching, counting on her. She could practically hear him urging her to find out more, to befriend this man.

And beyond that, she felt the pull of Paladin Danse’s request. She had told Nick that they should just turn and go, leave this group to their fate and keep going in a bullrush to find Shaun. And she had been more than ready to. But as she grew more and more confident in her abilities, more comfortable with the ways of life in the Commonwealth, she was finding it increasingly difficult to turn down requests for help. She had always been a sucker for the charity cases as a lawyer; even more so with the challenging ones. This situation certainly looked to be both. Because despite their competence, underneath their air of military efficiency and pride, she could see their desperation.

Nora threw her doubts to the wind. She’d help these people, try to find out what the Brotherhood had come here for, and then be on her way. She let out a small laugh with that burst of resolve, as if he’d pulled an amusing trick on her. “I had kind of guessed as much.” Nora paused, eyeing Danse up and down, then nodded firmly, adjusting the shotgun strap over her shoulder as she did. “All right then. I’m game. Tell me what you need.”

An undercurrent of relief was in his voice when he answered. “Thank you civilian.” He glanced out, beyond the courtyard, then back to Nora. “If you don’t mind, let’s move this conversation inside. I don’t like the idea of another attack with all of us out in the open like this.” He motioned to the other two, and the woman started hauling the wounded man to his feet. Danse seemed to hesitate before holding out his arm in the direction of the police station entrance.

Nora started up the steps, casting one last look out at the surrounding buildings. Nick was nowhere in sight, as she had expected. The sun was at its zenith, shedding its morning glow and transforming into the full glare of midday. With an effort, Nora shrugged off her doubts, climbing the last few steps and following the wounded soldier and the woman into the comparative darkness of the station.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_ “My father always told me, ‘When you’re struggling to speak, start with the truth’.” _

_ She bites her lip. _

_ “The truth, then.” _

_ He waits, as he always does. _

_ “I can’t be your General.” _

_ She sighs again. _

_ “Not….let me start again.” _

_ He waits. _

_ “The Institute, they took my son. I….I need to find him. Do you understand? Do you? Because this drive, it’s ripping me apart. Every moment I spend not doing everything in my power to find him is a moment wasted. No matter what I was doing, no matter how important. Wasted.” _

_ He waits. _

_ “The Minutemen are important, so important. So is my commitment to them. To you. But….” _

_ “You can’t keep it.” _

_ “Not right now. I can’t search for Shaun and build the Minutemen from the ground up. But -” _

_ “Promises are important. You said.” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ He sighs, collapses back into the corner of the couch, scrubs a hand over his face, his scalp. _

_ “Since you came….ever since you pulled my ass out of the fire, I’ve started to get ideas again. About the future, I mean. Visions, plans, whatever.” _

_ He looks down at his hands, empty and open in his lap. _

_ “I guess I’m only now starting to realise that you don’t see it at all, the effect you have on people. Maybe it’s that drive you have to find your son, that relentless determination; maybe it won’t let you see anything beyond your final goal. Maybe it’s because you haven’t spent your life getting beaten down by this shitty world. But you inspire people.” _

_ She looks down, away. _

_ “I know you don’t believe me, but you  _ do _. And maybe it’s foolish, but it gave me hope, when I had nothing else.” _

_ “Thank you, Preston.” _

_ She doesn’t know what else to say. _

_ “Yeah. Maybe you’ll see it yourself someday. I hope.” _

_ Silence settles around them, and she rushes to find something to fill it. _

_ “What kind of plans?” _

_ He chuckles, and it sounds like anything but laughter. _

_ “Foolish ones. And the kind that wouldn’t get off the ground without your help.” _

_ “I doubt that. Have a little faith in yourself.” _

_ “No, I mean it.” _

_ He sighs, the sound half-hearted and resigned. _

_ “I wanted….when we had enough support, enough people, I thought maybe -  _ someday -  _ we might be able to retake the Castle.” _

_ “The Castle? Dare I ask?” _

_ “Used to be the old Minuteman headquarters. Was abandoned years ago, way before my time. Something…. _ big  _ attacked it. Nobody knows what.” _

_ “Mystery for the ages, huh?” _

_ He waves his hand. _

_ “Doesn’t matter anyway. Without someone to rally behind, we’d never get enough traction to put a plan into motion.” _

_ “You’re saying you need a figurehead. Something to symbolize the fight - like a flag, but a person.” _

_ “Sort of? But more than that.” _

_ He scrapes his thumb along his jaw. _

_ “I never meant for you to just be symbolic, if that’s what you’re thinking. I said you were the General, and I meant it. But being a leader is more than just making choices and telling people where to go. Sometimes, you have to represent something too. An idea, or a way of living, whatever you want to call it. Something bigger, something  _ more _.” _

_ “And you can’t do that?” _

_ He looks away, stares a hole into the far wall. _

_ “No. I….something….I think something died with Quincy, with the Minutemen. I was never a leader anyway, and now….I just can’t. I can’t, not again.” _

_ His voice is low. _

_ His hands are shaking. _

_ “Alright.” _

_ “I’m sorry.” _

_ “No really, it’s alright. I understand. I think.” _

_ He rubs at his scalp again. _

_ “I know my capabilities, and where I can do the most. I like to think there’s merit to that. I just wish I could do more.” _

_ “You do enough. More than enough.” _

_ * _ __ _ * _ __ _ * _

“With any luck, we should make it to the Arcjet facility before nightfall,” Paladin Danse said over his shoulder. “I think we’re about four or five miles out.”

Nora hitched her pack a little higher on her shoulders, huffing out a quiet breath. Since they’d left the station, Danse had set a pace that, if not breakneck, was certainly rushed. He was driven, that much was obvious. His determination made her wonder just how hard the winter months had been on his team. Without the support of an established settlement, or supplies laid down in advance, it had to have been a difficult few months.

The Paladin was definitely not what she had expected. In some uncomfortable ways, he reminded her of Nate - the direct way he talked, the quiet intensity and readiness he carried with him. She expected it was some kind of commonality between soldiers, because of their training, of dedication, or whatever the hell made them sign up in the first place. Maybe it was just something they were born with.

For all that, however, he lacked Nate’s softness. They hadn’t spoken much since they started out, but it was clear the Paladin had the same rough edges that everyone else she had met in the Commonwealth had. Kindness was a luxury none could afford out here, and Danse had evidently learned that lesson well. There was a tension to the way he moved, like he was expecting her to betray him at any moment. She had a sneaking feeling that if he wasn’t wearing that armor, he would be walking behind her instead of ahead, gun at her back.

Another hour or so later, she finally grew tired of his sharp silence. They hadn’t seen any movement for miles; a little conversation wouldn’t kill them. Besides, Nick would never forgive her if she came away from this empty handed. She lengthened her stride, catching up to Danse after a few awkward moments. He was busy looking out into the distance, rifle at the ready. She caught the tiniest twitch of his helmet towards her, but other than that he didn’t react. She sighed inwardly, but kept her tone casual. This was clearly going to be difficult. “So, Danse, was it?”

He continued scanning the horizon. “Paladin.”

It was hard to resist outright rolling her eyes. He was nothing if not stoic. “Yes, I caught that part. But I’m not one of your little soldiers.” She let that hang in the air a moment before continuing, but he had no response to it. “So then. Danse?”

She could’ve sworn she caught a sigh loud enough to carry through his helmet’s speakers. “Yes?”

“Funny, you don’t look like a dancer.” She heard a low, disgusted grumble from beside her and grinned. Poking the bear just might prove to be an entertaining pastime while they walked. “Take it you’ve heard that one before?”

“Too many times,” he said, sounding incredibly world-weary.

Nora chuckled. “I’ll spare you, then. Where you from, soldier?”

“Rivet City. In the Capitol Wasteland.”

“Anything like here?” He glanced over curiously, and she shrugged. “I don’t travel much.”

He paused, his answer slow to come. “Some stuff’s the same, I guess. A lot is different.”

“Like?”

“Your winters are a lot worse, for one. Ours are cold, and we get some snow, but nothing like here.”

“Smacks the breath right out of you, doesn’t it?”

“That it does,” he said grimly. “We weren’t prepared at all.”

A spark of curiosity lit at his tone, but she decided not to push. “Wildlife different?”

“There’s certainly a lot more of it here.”  He glanced over again, as if he was assessing her through the slits of his helmet. “You’ve never been to the Capitol Wasteland, you said?”

“That’s right.”

He took another moment before he answered, offering her a hand as they climbed over a barricade of ruined cars. “It’s a hard place. Out there, its rocks and radiation and ferals, far as you can see. Clean water’s easier to come by, ever since -” He stopped himself sharply. “Nevermind, long story. But the clean water’s about the only good thing out there.”

“That why you joined the Brotherhood?” she asked.

“In a way, I guess.” He sounded surprised, thoughtful. “There’s so much  _ life _ out here; I’m not sure you understand how hard it is there, how necessary the Brotherhood of Steel is. I’ve seen so many betrayed or starved because of the greed of others, and the chaos it brings. The Brotherhood brings order and peace where violence would otherwise rule.”

“So you’re peacekeepers?”

“That wasn’t the order’s original purpose, but in a way, yes. Not everyone likes it, but we’ve brought stability to the Capitol Wasteland,” he said proudly. “We plan to bring some measure of that here.”

An alarm bell went off in the back of her head. “I thought you were here to fight the Institute.”

“I don’t think the two goals are mutually exclusive.”

She tugged at the strap over her shoulder, the weight of Nick’s shotgun strange in it’s comparative lightness. A feeling of deep unease was rising the more he talked. “You can’t fight a war on two fronts.”

“I don’t see it as two fronts. The Institute sows chaos and doubt across the Commonwealth with their synths. If we bring them down, then we bring about order.” He stated it so matter-of-factly that it was hard not to just nod along in agreement.

She shook her head. “A simple solution.”

“A final one too, I hope. And I’m a simple man.” He said it without a trace of humour or irony, shrugging. “I don’t need anything more than what works.”

The stillness of the landscape enveloped them for a while, their conversation falling to the wayside. Nora was left chewing on the thought that the man beside might be far more dangerous than she had assumed. There was a kind of blind arrogance to everything he said, as if he could overcome his obstacles just by willing it. Everything was cut and dry, simple and straightforward. Her mood was beginning to sour more and more as they walked; his idealism would’ve been easier to swallow if it wasn’t accompanied by such surety. The last time she had heard such utter confidence, it had been in Red propaganda.

“You know,” the Paladin said, breaking the silence. “You’re one of the first people I’ve spoken to out here that doesn’t start whispering when the Institute is mentioned.”

She looked up at Danse, startled. “They’re already shadowy enough. I don’t see a need to create more fear around them without a reason.”

“Commendable. But you do realize the threat they pose.”

She bristled just a bit at the leading question, out of old habit. “I think most people out here do, even if they don’t want to admit it,” she said carefully. “Most people act like you’ve just murdered their cat in front of them if you bring it up.”

Danse shook his head. “That’s been our experience out here so far, yeah.”

She jumped at the opportunity to dig deeper. “How long have you been out here?”

“About six months.”

Nora didn’t have to feign surprise. “That long?”

“We arrived a month in advance of the Prydwen - our ship. We were to scout the Commonwealth for resources, technology, signs of the mysterious Institute. We would’ve rejoined our main force, but - well, between the snow and the ghouls, we haven’t had much success.”

She frowned a bit. “Sounds like a large job for a three-man team.”

There was a moment’s hesitation before he answered. “We were seven, including myself. The Commonwealth….it’s more vicious than we were led to believe. We were caught off guard.” He brushed a low hanging branch out of the way with his rifle. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

Nora fished around for something to say for a moment, caught between her sympathy and mistrust. “I’m sorry.”

“They were good soldiers,” he said bitterly. “They deserved better.”

She sighed, watching the ground for a moment, her mind jumping to Nate. And unaccountably, to Nick. “Most who become prey out here do.”

“Which is why the Brotherhood is so necessary out here,” he responded. There was something earnest about the way he said it, like he wanted her to believe as much as he clearly did.

“If you think you’re going to be able to tame the Commonwealth, you’ve got another thing coming,” she said wryly.

Danse sounded almost hurt. “You don’t think it’s possible?”

She made a face. “Maybe with a homegrown force, but right now, the people see you as invaders.” He scoffed at that, but didn’t say anything. She regarded him for a moment, trying to take his measure through the inscrutable armor. “You’ve heard of the Minutemen?”

“Bits and pieces since we came out here.”

“What do you think?”

He shrugged. “They sounded well intentioned.”

She raised an eyebrow at his dismissiveness. “That’s it?”

“Aren’t they gone? I heard their own leadership betrayed them.” His tone was scathing. “I hardly see the relevance.”

“A citizen militia can never really be destroyed,” she said archly. “But that’s beside the point.”

“Which is?”

“That everything your Brotherhood says and does will be judged against the standard of the Minutemen.”

“Against the standard of traitors and murderers.”

“Against the standard of the people themselves!” She snorted. “You seem to be forgetting that the Minutemen were made up of the populace of the Commonwealth. These were their neighbors, their friends, their  _ family _ . You’ve heard the people talking about Quincy; if they’re that harsh on their own, how much harder do you think they’ll be on a bunch of outsiders?”

He seemed taken aback by that thought, like it hadn’t occurred to him before. The pause gave Nora just a moment to be surprised at her own insistence at defending the Minutemen. There was a rising heat in her chest, a fire she hadn’t known was there. Maybe it was because they were the underdogs here. She had always enjoyed fighting for the downtrodden. Of course, Nate had always insisted that she just liked playing the rebel, spiting those in authority because she could. Maybe it was both. But she hadn’t expected to feel that thrill again, not out here.

After a few moments, Danse seemed to shake himself out of his reverie. “We may be outsiders here, but I have confidence the people will be able to see who’s on their side. Against the Institute, I should think nobody would object to our help when they see what we can do.”

And with that, he strode out ahead just enough to seperate them. Nora shook her head, letting the conversation drop. She wasn’t going to covert anyone in the space of a few hours anyway; better to let things rest. As they continued toward Arcjet, she instead pondered what she had learned about the Brotherhood’s plans. It seemed the Brotherhood was after a lot more than just fighting the Institute.

 

* * *

_ Preston walks with them to the edge of town, crossing the rickety remains of the bridge. The morning is quiet and still. The creak of wood under their boots adds a counterpoint to the soft rushing of water beneath them. The river is not fully thawed yet, but it is no longer frozen solid. A small stream runs through the center, around large hunks of stubborn ice that refuse to melt. Half-remembering a dream, Nora is wracked by a shiver that has little to do with the cold. _

_ The wind is cutting, reminding them that winter isn’t yet over. It creeps under Nora’s layers, past her overcoat and sweater and scarf and gloves. She should be used to it by now; it certainly isn’t as cold as it was at its height. But it hurts anyway, like a knife to her skin, a mouthful of glass to her lungs. Her breath catches, a remnant of a distantly painful cough, and her core tenses painfully in preparation for something that never comes. _

_ The trees rustle gently in the wind, the dark firs and barren elms both contributing to the harmony as the trio comes to the end of the bridge. The road ahead is foreboding, snow and slush untouched by any travelers so far. Dogmeat is unaffected by the dour atmosphere, bounding cheerily ahead. _

_ Preston breaks the silence when they reach the end of the bridge. “I’ll take good care of Dogmeat while you’re gone, ma’am.” _

_ “I know you will.” She is ready to be on the road, to be just one step and another and another closer to finding Virgil, to finding Shaun. But even with that tension, that impatience thrumming in her chest, she is loathe to leave. In it’s quiet, slow way, Sanctuary has been living up to its name. It may be far from the home she and Nate made for themselves before the bombs, but…. _

_ It is beginning to feel like one again. _

_ She glances out at the road - or what can be seen of it through the blanket of snow and slush – and then to Nick. He is quiet and still, hands tucked away in his duster pockets, the only thing keeping it marginally still as it flaps around his ankles. The expression on his face is hard to read as he scans the road ahead, but she suspects he is glad to be going. From everything she has seen, Nick is a patient man, but she wonders if he ever stays still for very long. Perhaps this strange and bitter winter has been part of been due to Nick feeling the same irritation with inaction that she has. _

_ Nora snaps her fingers in a bid for Dogmeat’s attention, and he happily trots back to her. He pants curiously at her as she crouches down, cocking his head to the side. She ruffles the fluffy fur at the top of his head, slips her hand down and scratches behind his ear. “I’m sorry buddy. You’re going to have to sit this one out.” _

_ He whines, staring at her mournfully, and once again she is struck with the feeling that he understands far more than a dog should. She presses her forehead to his, kisses the top of his snout. “I know, I don’t like it either. But you can’t follow where I’m headed.” She scratches under his chin. “You stay here with Preston, okay? He’s going to need your help.” _

_ Dogmeat makes a small noise and wags at her. She takes that as an acknowledgment and stands. “Guess there’s no point in putting it off?” _

_ Nick inclines his head, shrugging his pack a little higher on his shoulders. “Ready when you are, doll.” _

_ She nods, and they begin walking out onto the road. Before she has gone more than a few feet, however, a hand grabs at her bicep. She turns to face Preston. “Ma’am, I-” _

_ He struggles for a moment, brow furrowed. “I want you to know – I heard what you said, when we spoke the other day.“ His voice is low, earnest. “Take the time you need. Do what you have to. I’ll be here when you need me.” He smiles. “ _ If _ you need me. You’re a capable woman, General. I have no doubt you will see this through.” _

_ She stiffens slightly at the title. “Preston, I’m not-” _

_ His grip on her arm tightens momentarily before releasing. “You are, though. You may not think that you can do this, or that you’re enough.” His smile become something small and sad. “But you are. You’re more than enough. And when you’re ready, just call. We’ll stand behind you.” _

_ He steps back, and she stares at him a moment, unsure how to respond. Eventually, she jerks her head into a nod, her mind too much of a tangle to say anything. She turns and heads after Nick, who has paused a little ways down the road, his gaze curious. She joins him, and they continue trudging up the hill together. _

_ She looks back once. Preston leans against a section of intact railing on the bridge, arms crossed, watching them leave. Dogmeat stands a few feet away from him, tail waving slowly back and forth. That’s all she sees before they crest the hill and the edge of Sanctuary vanishes from sight. _

_ *          *           * _

“Danse!”

“There’s too many! Stay back!”

Nora ran a hand through her hair, frantic. Danse was surrounded by synths, their eyes glowing eerily in the dim light. Lasers cut through the space, creating a dangerous blue lace around the Paladin. As she watched, one dropped its rifle and jumped onto his back, clawing and tearing at the steel plates of his armor. He reached back, barely pausing, and hauled the synth from his back with a powerful wrenching movement. It went flying, bowling over two other advancing synths. He continued firing steadily, retreating until his back was literally against the wall.

Nora looked around helplessly. She had nothing but her shotgun and pistol, and a handful of ammo for both. There was a horde on the other side of the window, and nothing she had to fight it with. A surge of panic ran through her, nearly paralyzing in its intensity. She was going to stand here and watch this man die. There was no way to help him, short of running out there and getting overwhelmed herself.

And then her eyes fell on the red button before her.   

Before she could even process the insane thought that came to her in that second, she had hit the button with her fist, smashing the glass cover over it. Her glove protected her hand from the worst of it, but a shard still dug into her knuckles with a flash of pain she barely noticed. A blaring alarm started to sound, muffled by the thick glass in front of her. Distantly, Nora heard a calm, measured voice begin counting down from five.

She leaned over the huge console, banging her fist against the glass. “Danse! Take cover!”

Nora didn’t know if he heard her, but Danse had already pressed himself into a corner, between the wall and a support pillar. The synths were crowding up to him, the swell of laser fire nearly a solid beam. He fired, fired, fired, and -

\- there was a flash of light, white-hot and blinding. Nora threw her arm up defensively, turning away from the blast on instinct. The sound followed a moment later, a deafening boom that thundered through her, rattling her bones and teeth and making her ears feel like they were bleeding. She ducked behind the console, dropping the shotgun and grabbing the sides of her head in a desperate attempt to escape the overwhelming wave of searing heat. The pane of glass separating her from the test chamber rattled dangerously, the ground vibrating beneath her feet. A roaring, rushing filled the space, assaulted her ears, drove all thought away with a violent intensity, crashing in a thunderous, continuous wave until -

\- until there was a sudden silence, the void leaving her ears aching and ringing. Nora clawed at the console, dragging herself up to her feet. Her head was spinning, and she shook her head, trying to clear some of the sudden fogginess. Outside the window, smoke was swirling gently upwards in long tendrils. She thought she could just see the hulking shape of the power armor through the haze, unmoving.

Feeling was slowly coming back into her limbs as her mind raced to catch up. In a mad dash, she snatched the shotgun from the ground and ran out the door, turning down the hallway. Nora skidded to a stop before she nearly slammed nose-first into a solid blast door. Of course. Hitting the button had triggered a lockdown system. She frantically searched around the door and found a large button. Slamming her hand on it only produced an absurdly calm, if somewhat garbled voice over the PA, stating, “ _ The area you are trying to enter is currently off limits. Please wait until the danger has passed. Thank you! _ ”

Nora pressed her hand flat on the door, trying to wait for the heat from the test fire to dissipate. She could feel a red hot pulsing from the other side of the door even through her thick gloves. The faint musk of burning leather reached her nose, mingling with the damp stone and dust of the building before she pulled her hand away.

She was such a fool. This whole outing was a fool’s errand. Somewhere out there, Shaun was waiting for her, and here she was, worrying about a man who she had just met, a man who would hate her if he knew the truth, who would shoot the only real friend she had made out here on sight. She was wasting her time here, no matter what Nick said, she knew it, and yet she still  _ cared _ .

Her head a jumbled mess, she slapped the button again out of sheer frustration. And again. And again, again, again, until there was a sudden grinding of gears. In time with a warning klaxon, the door began sliding back into the wall. Nora leapt into action again, slipping through the narrow opening as soon as she could. A scorching wave rolled over her, like a summer day in a desert. She winced, covering her face with her scarf to avoid breathing in the worst of the smoke.

The entire floor of the test chamber was blackened. All around her lay the twisted remains of the synths, their metal frames still smouldering. She tried not to shudder at the sudden image of Nick that flashed through her mind, and instead jogged over to the mountain of power armor. She reached out, then quickly drew her hand back in a moment of clarity. The armor shifted, and she couldn’t help the sudden exclamation that escaped. “Oh my God! Danse, are you okay?”

The Paladin grunted, propped up on one fist, his rifle in the other. She could hear his desperate pants through his helmet speakers, and now that she was close, she spied the faintest tremor underneath the scorched metal. “I….I think I’m…..tired,” he finished lamely, slumping forward.

Nora let out a giggle that was a bit too close to hysterical for comfort. She took a deep breath, trying to settle her wired brain. “Just tired?”

“I don’t think I’m injured,” Danse grayed. He started trying to push himself up. “Just bruised. And I could use a twelve hour nap after all this.”

She cocked her head at him, curious. He seemed….friendlier, somehow, like all the pretentious formality had been beaten out of him by the synths. “I’ll second that, no question.” She watched him attempt to climb to his feet again with no success, and chuckled. “I’d give you a hand, but uh….”

“But I’m half-melted and boiling hot?” The way his helmet tilted up to look at her seemed almost petulant. “Yeah, I’d noticed.”

She shrugged. Now that the immediate danger had passed, her nerves were jangling themselves into a strange giddiness. “It was that or watch you get swarmed. I figured that hulk of metal must be good for something if you lugged it all this way.”

He finally stumbled to his feet, and chuckled. “It’s got its uses, that’s for sure. And I apologize if I don’t sound grateful.” He regarded her for a moment, long enough to make her want to start fidgeting. “That was some quick thinking. Not many would’ve seen that opportunity. Good use of your environment.” 

Nora shrugged again, although an inexplicable warm glow spread quietly in her stomach. “Thanks. It was right in front of me, though, so you might be giving me too much credit.” She glanced around at the charred synth remains. “You want to take a breather, or push on?”

He waved a hand. “Push on. No telling if there are any reinforcements coming, and I’d rather get this over with.” He checked his rifle, now significantly less shiny, then nodded. “I’ll take lead?”

Nora gestured broadly, falling into step behind him. Despite her better judgement, she had the niggling feeling that she was starting to like him. As they continued to move up through the facility, that uneasy feeling blossomed and solidified. She  _ shouldn’t  _ like him; everything he’d said on the way over made it clear that the Brotherhood was here to cause trouble in the Commonwealth, no matter what they purported. 

It was also clear that he was a good man. A good man who believed he was doing the right thing. Maybe that was why this all felt wrong. Because the more she thought about it, the more he did remind her of Nate. The way he talked about his service, the way he put others first - it was uncomfortably familiar. It left her wondering if Nate would’ve jumped at an opportunity like this, like Danse obviously once had. It was that same sickening thought that had dogged her since her first night in alone in the Commonwealth: that if she had died and Nate had lived, things would’ve been different. Better. That she was making all the wrong choices. That Shaun might be home and safe right now if it wasn’t for her inadequacy. 

The rest of the building started to go by in a disconnected haze. She was too caught up in her sour thoughts to listen to what Danse was saying as the continued. The only interlude was another brief bout of violence as they stepped out if the creaking elevator. The shotgun jumped and barked in her hands, numbing her shoulder and jolting her teeth with the vibration. Her blood sang with sudden adrenaline, but it was dimmed now, her body too tired and her mind too distracted to react properly. 

It was only when the frigid fresh air cut across her face that she was jolted from her daze, as if she had been driving half asleep. Nora blinked, piecing together the last ten minutes as best she could. She swallowed, hard. She hadn’t checked out like that in a long time, and it was dangerous enough even at the best of times. 

Danse was just ahead of her, checking all the corners of the little fenced yard they’d found themselves in. Satisfied, he turned back to her, stomping over and shouldering his rifle. “Perimeter looks clear, such as it is. You should be clear to go in your way - although the roads are dangerous at night.”

Nora grinned tightly. She wasn’t much looking forward to navigating them in the dark, but she wasn’t going to admit that to him. “They’re always dangerous. Don’t worry about it”

He shrugged, then reached up and tugged at some kind of catch on his neck, unsealing his helmet with a hiss. He pulled it off, flipping it under his arm in an easy, suspiciously practiced motion. His face was still red from their exertions, his dark hair damp with sweat. “If you’re sure. If you don’t mind waiting while I set up a retrieval beacon, though, you could walk back with me. You’re welcome to spend that night at the station with us.”

Nora tried to wave the offer off. “That’s kind, but I’ll have to pass. I’m heading south, and I’m not really in the mood to backtrack.”

She thought he looked a little disappointed, but he just shrugged again. “Alright, fair enough. But-“ he cleared his throat. “Before you go, one more thing.”

He hesitated, and in that brief moment, Nora felt a chill run down her spine. “I want to formally extend an offer to you, to join the Brotherhood. You show a lot of promise, and I really think you would do well with us.”

Some of her consternation must have slipped through the placid mask she was trying to keep in place. Danse paused, and the eternally on-duty officer faded away again, leaving the simple, friendly soldier in its place. “Join us,” Danse urged. “You’re strong, you’re smart, you’re capable; the Brotherhood is always in need of good men and women like you.”

His expression was so earnest it was hard to look at. Nora ran a hand over her face, scrubbed at the roots of her hair. It wasn’t difficult to look indecisive. The Paladin had said enough on their walk here to convince her that he believed the Brotherhood was a force for good. It was hard not to get caught up in his enthusiasm, to not buy into his rock-solid faith in his organization.

She looked down at her boots for a moment, then shook her head. “Thank you for the offer,” she said, meeting his eyes again. “It means a lot, coming from you.”

“But….”

“I can’t. I have commitments, things I have to take care of.”

He frowned slightly. “Your ‘business’ down south?”

“That. And other things.”

Danse shifted his feet. “You know, the Brotherhood looks after it’s own. Once you’re a member, we could help with whatever your problem is.”

She made a face. “I appreciate it, I really do, but it’s time sensitive. I had time to help you out, but much more than that….”

He ran a hand through his hair, glancing to the side. “I understand.” He let out a loud, sudden sigh. “I won’t push. But just know my offer stands. If you ever change your mind, you’ll know where to find me.”

Nora shifted the strap on her shoulder. “How long are you planning on staying there?”

“Depends on what my orders are. But I’m going to recommend turning the station into an outpost. Even if I’m not there, someone should be able to contact me.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” She rubbed her hands together briskly to warm them, and after a moments consideration, stuck her right hand out. After a moment, Danse took it, enveloping her hand in his huge armored mitt. He was careful with his grip, but even still, it was obvious he could easily crush her hand in that armor. The icy cold steel leached through her gloves and but at her skin, leaving it with pins and needles after he let go. She smiled up at him. “See you around, Danse.”

He jerked his head into a nod. “See you around, Nora.”

She could feel his eyes on her back for a while as she headed out down the road. Her sour mood from inside persisted. She hitched her pack higher on her shoulders, shook her head as she tried to carefully pick her way through the twilight shadows obscuring the road. She’d make her way down a mile from the facility; hopefully Nick had been trailing her. With any luck, he’d meet up with her there. Any maybe he would know just what to do with this mess. 

*             *             *

From a nearby hill, Nick watched the distant figure of Nora make her way around and away from Arcjet in the twilight. The somewhat larger figure of the solider watched her as well. He hadn’t tried to detain her, which had been one of the many worries unspooling in the back of Nick’s head. And he didn’t charge after her, or shoot her in the head. He just watched her go. No way to tell what the man was thinking from this distance.  And it likely didn’t matter anyhow. He just had to hope Nora had done a good enough job. 

Nick started gathering up his pack as he let his worries wash over him. Nora was already far enough away, and it was dangerous for anyone to walk the road alone. He hefted the unfamiliar weight of Nora’s rifle in his arms, and started down the hill. It was painfully slow going, but there was nothing for it. A bad step in this light could send him tumbling. The only consolation was that Nora couldn’t be going much faster. 

Before long, he was back on the road. Maybe an hour or so after that, he spotted a small figure amidst the shadows in the distance. It stood as he drew closer, and soon resolved into the familiar features of Nora. 

She looked exhausted. Her pale skin was almost glowing in the dim starlight, even her freckles washed away. The circles under her eyes had deepened, and she held herself like she thought she might tip over any second. But for all that, she still greeted him with a small smile. “Glad you found me alright. Was worried I might have to go back for you.”

He mustered up a grin for her, and they fell into step. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

She shrugged. “Wasn’t long. Twenty minutes, maybe?” She gestured vaguely off to a stand of trees in their right. “Just enough time for me to scout a campsite.”

“Looks okay?”

Nora shrugged again. “It’s out of the wind, and we might be able to have a fire tonight. It’s still half slush though, just like everything else.”

Nick grunted, struggling to refrain from the automatic “I told you so” that nearly tripped off his tongue. He doubted she would take it well. Nobody liked outside judgement, particularly when they were icy, soaked, and miserable. He could only imagine how she felt in this wind - he was miserable enough, and he probably only felt the cold half as well as she could. 

They didn’t speak again until they had finished stamping out the tiny clearing in the trees. Nora had begun building a fire, and Nick settled down next to her, handing her more tinder to feed it. All the wood they could find was some degree of damp, and the flame coughed and sputtered fitfully. “So.”

She glanced at him, then back to the struggling fire. “So?”

“How’d it go?”

Nora chewed at her lip for a moment, before tossing another twig into the flames. “Well enough, I suppose.” She exhaled sharply, leaning back to rest on her palms. “He didn’t shoot me.”

“I didn’t think he would.” Nora raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged. “Not on sight, anyway.”

“Glad to see your assumptions were well-made,” Nora said, a faint smirk hovering on her lips. “In any case, I think he believed me. Or at least, he was too polite or too desperate to pry apart my story.” She shot him a look. “Nick….how sure are you about the Brotherhood? About what they stand for?”

He found himself frowning at her. “Absolutely sure. Why?”

She tilted her head back, gazing at the barren canopy and the emerging stars. “Because I think I almost believed  _ him.”  _ She shook her head. “He was so earnest, so sure; it was infectious, I suppose. So much of what he said just made sense. If it wasn’t for the synths and the ghouls….”

Nick leaned in slightly. “He offered you a place, didn’t he?”

Nora looked uncomfortable. “Yes,” she said finally. 

“And you said….?”

“That I’d think about it.”

“Have you?”

Nora turned her own frown on him, sitting up again. “Nick, I don’t have  _ time _ to join. I’ve already pushed away the Minutemen, what makes you think I’d turn around and sign up with another quasi-military band of zealots?” She raised an eyebrow. “Besides, I thought you’d be the last person to try convincing me.”

Nick shook his head, growing impatient. “Don’t you see? They have exactly what you need - power and resources. That’s not something you can beg, borrow, or steal, Nora. They could hunt the Institute to the ends of the earth, give you every tool in their possession to get your boy back, as long as it leads to the Institute’s doorstep.”

“So you want me to join them?”

“I want you to  _ use _ them.” Nick rested his elbows on his knees. “Do what you have to, tell whatever lies you need to, as long as it gets you your son back. God knows, there’s enough children without parents out here. The Commonwealth doesn’t need another one.”

Nora looked at him, her eyes in shadow; looked at the fire, and didn’t say anything for a while. “I’ll think about it,” she said finally. She held up a hand as he opened his mouth. “I don’t care if it’s the same answer I gave him, it’s what I’m sticking with.” She looked down, fiddling with something on the knuckles of her gloves. “It seems like its the only option because we’re desperate. Desperate people make poor choices. But something else could turn up, something better. I want all my options on the table before I choose.”

Nick followed her gaze to the growing fire, mulling her words over. “Fair enough,” he conceded. Deeper down, he wasn’t even sorry she had all but outright rejected the man’s offer. It made his heart sing, though it stung to admit it. He wanted her to have the resources to find her son, even if it pulled her from him. He and his foolish heart weren’t important, not is this. But it said something about her that she didn’t want to involve herself in the Brotherhood, even for her son. It was stupid and noble and Nick couldn’t help but think of the other Nick, the man who had lost so much because he refused to sacrifice his principles, even in the pursuit of justice.

Pre-war Nick hadn’t had anyone by his side to protect him. Nora was sure as hell going to have him.

The fire crackled for a while. Nora ate in quick, disinterested bites. Nick eventually settled in with his back to a tree, taking first watch before Nora could offer. They soaked in the silence, listening to the gentle sounds of the night. It felt good, Nick decided, being on the road with Nora again. She was a steady, easy companion. Far too easy to rely on, as he found himself doing more every day. And out here, she felt more comfortable, less restive. It seemed Nora didn’t do well without something to  _ do. _

It was as Nora was dropping off to sleep, curled on her side, that the quiet was finally broken. “And anyway,” she said, her voice low and sleepy as she picked up the threads of their conversation where they’d been dropped. “If I joined the Brotherhood, I’d have to stop traveling with you.”

She was asleep not long after, and Nick was left not knowing what to say or even where to look. It was too hard to watch her, imagining all the things that could never be, wishing he could tell her all the secret longings of his stress-fractured heart. He settled for staring up at the sky for a while, basking in the silvery cool starlight and watching the gentle upward dance of the embers towards the canopy. He wished he could forget these feelings, everything that burned in his chest. He wished that for once the things that he wanted most wouldn’t turn to ash in his mouth. He wished -

Nick hung his head, staring listlessly at his limp hands. He wished the world was a better place. A kinder one. And sometimes….

Sometimes he wished he wasn’t in it.


End file.
